There is not a mother in the world who doesn’t doubt her skills as a parent, who doesn’t worry that someone else might notice their lack of experience when they first hold their baby, who doesn’t wonder if she’s good enough for the task. Being a parent is a wonderful experience. Nobody is going to deny it. But it is also a tough job for which there is no real guidance. As a mother, you would like to find the answers to all your questions simply by turning to the almighty knowledge of Google or Wikipedia. But all mothers know that the answers are not always online. Sure, there are some tutorials for practical things, but it doesn’t help you to address the big questions.
Indeed, being a parent means that you are responsible for the wellbeing of another individual. You have a life between your hands, and your role is to care for it and watch it grow. At a time when you are probably still trying to figure out who you want to be and what do you want to be remembered for, it can be tricky, to say the least, to become a role model for your child too. Ultimately, moms need to decide for themselves the kind of childhood they want to give to their kids.
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How to approach parenthood
Do you worry that you’re not a perfect mom? If you do, you’re one of many. Unfortunately, it doesn’t matter how many parenting books you study. There is no magic formula to perfection. Most parents compare themselves to the parents they know and those they can find in their social media feeds. On the one hand, there’s the feed of a mother who makes inventive bento boxes for her children’s lunch. Does it mean that you’re a bad mom for not following the bento trend? Is being unable to build a rice and vegetable Hello Kitty synonymous with parental failure? Common sense says no. But your guts say otherwise. So you look again for the answer, for the key to perfect parenting skills. Your quest is doomed to fail. There is no tangible material on how to become the best mum ever. The key to approaching parenthood is to understand what your child needs to grow healthy and happy, not to try to outdo the other moms.
The sweet couple life is forever transformed when you have a child. More often than not, people’s online researches change dramatically from “best one-bedroom rental in town” to “buy house close to main amenities” when they are expecting. Indeed, when the family grows, the need for a safe and stable home appears. Young families with only a child tend to look for small homes with 2 to 3 bedrooms so that they have room to welcome maybe a little sister or brother in a few years’ time. However, while it might be easy to accommodate one or children in a small home, when the family grows beyond this point it becomes essential to upsize. Should you buy a bigger home or should consider a home extension? There is no right or wrong answer to this difficult question. Instead, you will need to assess the feasibility of building a new bedroom vs the stress of finding a new home you can afford.
Should you introduce your kids to technology?
Millennials were the last children to grow up more or less tech-free, as the spread of smartphones and the Internet occurred after their children. Nowadays, technology is everywhere, and, as a result, parents wonder whether it is safe to let children interact with contemporary gadgets. Indeed, while technology is a child’s play, it doesn’t mean that you should let your children use technology unmonitored. Firstly, it can be an eye-opening activity to define how much and how your child uses technology. You can use this as guidance to address specific issues. Reducing digital and tech time might be a good idea, but it’s important to understand the benefits of tech interactions too. Video games help kids to develop problem-solving skills and to improve their concentration, for example. Besides, as the next generation is expected to be tech-savvy, it’s essential to help your children make the most of the technology available, as safely and respectfully as possible.
How to discuss relationships with your kids
Do you remember the awkward talk you had about bees and flowers with your parents? You may not want to be that prude mom who can’t explain relationships to your children, but there will be a time when your teen will start dating. Teenage romance can be very light-hearted at first, so you may leave aside the bees and flowers debate. But it doesn’t mean that your teen is ready to understand the complexity of love and affection. Your teenage son or daughter needs to feel confident when they want to talk to you about the things of the heart. So how do you best answer their questions, however difficult they might be? From knowing whether they are in love to finding out more about how their parents met, your children deserve one thing only: HONESTY.
You want to the best for your children. So, quite naturally, you want your kids to be the most perfect individuals, and therefore they should have the best chances ever. Young parents nowadays worry a lot about the importance of stimulation and experience for their children. Is your child stimulated enough at their nursery school? Will a trip abroad be a positive experience for their personal development? Ultimately, the new generation of parents is faced with too much information. Your child needs love, attention and care to grow into a healthy and bright adult. Whether they can learn French at age 3 or listen to a classic concerto before their afternoon nap doesn’t matter. Children should be allowed to be children, nothing more. You can’t force knowledge upon your child as a mean to measure your parenting skills.
The bottom line for mothers is that there is only one lesson to learn: Chill out. If you’re taking care of your child and showing all the love they need, you are already doing great. Everything else is a bonus.